Dipping Into Sin 2: Digging Deeper Into Sin Page 3

  Upon arriving at the hospital parking lot, I turned the ignition off and looked at the time on the dashboard. Sighing softly, I adjusted my seat to a slanted angle. “Great,” I huffed out sarcastically, “…Thirty minutes until my shift starts.”

  Scrolling through pictures of my daughters, I watched as they transformed from infants to toddlers. One particular picture caught my attention the most, my college graduation day.

  That day began with the pattering sounds of the raindrops beating against my windowsills, snapping me out of my trance from a sleepless night. Though a dark cast of gloom coated the crying sky, I praised God for the beautiful day that He allowed me to wake up and see.

  Did I make the right decision? I truly never had time to think about it all. I wonder how life would have turned out had I listened to Andriano. Shaking my head, I knew better than to allow my mind to wonder about the endless possibilities of how my life could’ve ended up. Keeping my daughters was the best decision that I could have made.

  I was startled by the sudden knocks on the door. Each knock pulled me away from that moment in time, as I became oriented in my present state of being. Looking to the right, I attempted to compose myself, drawing in calm, steady breaths. As reality settled in, I realized that I was back in my car waiting for my shift to start. Darting my eyes to the clock on the dashboard, a sense of relief steadied the rapture of my beating heart. A more aggressive knock nearly shattered my window, causing my head to whip sharply to the left. My once labored breathing had now become a battle of containment, as all of the air nearly escaped my windpipes. Clenching my phone tightly, our eyes became locked on each other. What the fuck is he doing in Charlotte? Panic surfaced throughout my whole body, as my mind raced to my daughters. The car that was parked outside, I thought at the alarming possibility. Does he know? Is he going to harm them? Is he going to kill me? Fuck…think…think…think Simone.

  Looking away from him, I started to dial my Grandmother’s phone number. He knocked again, this time a little louder, but I ignored him as I silently prayed for my grandmother to answer the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Grandma, are you okay? Are the girls okay?”

  “Yes baby, we’re fine. Is everything okay? Did you make it to work safely?”

  “Yes, Grandma, I’m here now. Please call me even if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong. I’ll come home right away.”

  “Of course, baby. What is this all about? Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m okay. Everything is okay. I’ll see you in the morning. Grandma, I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby. Goodnight.”

  Deciding not to take any chances, I frantically searched for the voice record button on my cell phone. Clicking the button, the blinking red light appeared, while my other hand reached over to unlock the door. Before I could pull on the handle, he latched onto the outside handle and nearly yanked the door off of the hinges. His murky grey eyes swept across my body in an up and down motion, stopping at my thighs and slowly rising up to my pelvis, lingering his assaulting gaze a little longer. Ashamed, at my oncoming desires seeping through under his penetrating eyes, I shook off his effect.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked harshly.

  “You became a doctor,” he said almost as if he was proud. Those same lips…became familiar with each and every part of my body, I admitted silently. No Simone…this is fucking Andriano. You didn’t become a doctor because you had to choose between raising your girls and pursuing your dreams.

  “What are you doing here?” I repeated.

  “I’m proud of you bella mia,” he commended. Somehow, I believed him. Yeah…just like I believed that he loved me, right?

  Raising my hand up midair, my eyes cut through the man who I once loved. “Don’t call me that.”

  The smirk on his face further infuriated me as he seemed unbothered by my look of detest. “Fuck this,” I mumbled as I started to walk away.

  “Wait,” he said as his hand wrapped around my arm. The tingling sensation of his fingers sent violent shivers throughout my core. The more I fought eternally, the more he dismantled my willpower. Unable to speak, I simply stared back at him helpless, yet intrigued of what’s to come. Pulling me closer to him, I knew that I had to fight through this lustful spell that he casted. Brushing his lips lightly against mine, Andriano’s eyes wavered over my pouted lips and before leaning forward and snatching the air of defeat from me.

  Chapter Five

  Andriano

  Two hours earlier

  “Good evening sir, my name is Eric. How can I be of assistance?” asked the young concierge with a pronounced southern accent. Moving to the side, he entered my room and stood in the middle of the penthouse suite.

  “I need a car,” I said getting straight to the point. As much as I wanted to wait until at least daybreak, I couldn’t. I had to see her, smell her, and feel her. Seemingly so, the last thing that took precedence in my state of mind was the time. I just needed my bella mia. And no one was going to rest until I had her…tonight.

  Glancing down at his watch, Eric pulled out his phone and scrolled through a list before asking, “Do you have any particular preference in your choice of car? Sport? Convertible? Muscle?”

  “I don’t give a fuck. I’ll drive a minivan if I have to. I just need a car right now,” I said agitated.

  “Okay, Mr. Balducci. I will make the arrangements,” said Eric, maintaining his composure while walking out of the double suite doors.

  Lifting up the flap of the file, I grabbed the front page and stuffed the paper into my pocket. An hour later, the young concierge returned with the key fob to the 2015 Audi R8 and papers to sign. Heading out of the hotel, I had all intentions to convince the woman that I love to give us another chance.

  After plugging her address into the GPS, I sped down Interstate-485 and managed to arrive in front of Simone’s house fifteen minutes earlier than the estimated arrival time. And that’s when I saw her…my bella mia. She held onto her clear duffle bag and portable cup. Where is she going at this time? Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and she wore a white uniform of some sort. I stood frozen in place when she looked at my car. Could she see me? For a brief moment, I held my breath and couldn’t decide on my next move. Latching onto the handle, I opened the door with all intentions on kissing her fears and apprehension away. But as I stepped out of the car, she hopped into her car. Stepping back into the car, I watched as she pulled out of the parking spot and drove down the block. Following suit, I shifted gears and pursued her.

  When I entered the parking lot, my eyes skimmed over the hospital lot which was practically empty. Shutting off my car lights, I drove slowly and parked my car in a parking space that was adjacent to her parked car. Maybe I should have read her file, I thought, as I questioned if she had truly moved on. A part of her house still had lights on. Could that have been the new man in her life? Clenching the wheel tightly, pasty white color appeared on my knuckles, causing my skin to expand. I refused to accept even the possibility that Simone had moved on. Finally releasing the wheel, I opened the car door and hopped out.

  As I neared her car, my heart sped up with the anticipation to reclaiming my heart…my soul…my life. Knocking on her window, she seemed to be lost in another world as her head spun to the passenger side window. A sheet of anxiousness spread over me, as I pounded on her window urgently.

  Panic exploded all over her face, the moment our eyes became in sync in a tunnel vision of only our world. Several minutes passed by, and I refused to walk away from her car. Not now. Not like this. My hand rose again to knock on her window. Hell, if I have to speak loudly in order for her to hear me out, I would gladly do it. The moment she unlocked her car, I quickly latched onto the door handle and tugged it open. Standing before me, my shaft sprang to attention; pressing hard against my pants.

  Her beautiful light brown eyes were clouded by the brewing storm of lust as I stared at her. Whisked
away, the desire that encompassed her longing eyes was now filled with resistance. She was fighting this…fighting her emotions…fighting us. How could I blame her? After all, I married another woman, I chose La Cosa Nostra, and I forced her to kill our baby.

  Looking at her white scrubs, it suddenly dawned on me that my bella mia managed to accomplish her dream in the midst of all of my betrayal. She’s a doctor! Even through all the hurt I caused her five years ago, she managed to survive and hold on tight to her dream.

  The jolt of electricity temporarily paralyzed both of us as I tenderly grasped her shaking body and drew her near. Capturing her lips, we mated with a heated passion that pulled me into a state of oblivion. A purr escaped her the moment my thumb rubbed against her throat.

  Pinning her body against the car, her hands pressed against my chest as she sucked on my bottom lip. Fighting her desire, Simone tried to push my body away while holding my tongue hostage.

  Taking hold of her hands, I made the decision for her. You’re not going to run away from me this time, I thought, as I tossed her arms around my neck before deepening our kiss.

  Her eyes were filled with lust as I captured her mouth again, this time, pressing soft and tender kisses against her lips. Staring down at her, I knew that she could read every unspoken word in my eyes…because I could read it in hers.

  “I would never hurt you again, bella mia,” I finally spoke.

  “No,” she said with a heartfelt shriek. Trying to move her body away from me, she asked, “Why the hell are you here?”

  A bustle of emotions brewed within me as I went from love to panic, to a new level of rage. As much as I wanted to grab both of her arms and profess my love to her, I knew that I had to be patient. Of course, I didn’t expect her to greet me with open arms. But, I did have a smidgen of hope that she would open her heart wide enough to at least hear me out.

  “Bella mia, don’t fight me. Everything that I did was to protect you,” I began as I hardened my stance. Stilling her moving body, I refused to let her walk away from me.

  “You should’ve protected me from yourself,” she snapped, as she crossed her arms tightly around her chest.

  “Simone, please. None of this has been easy for me. You’ll never understand the position that I was in,” I said calmly.

  “Listen, Andriano, I’m over it. I’ve moved on with my life. Besides, I’m not the same girl from five years ago.”

  “So, who are you?” I asked, bracing myself for the truth.

  “I’m not the same gullible and naïve girl who hung onto your every word. You played me for a fool back then. Yes, I was young and acted carelessly when it came to you. But, I’m glad that I’m no longer blinded by your lies. With the way things ended between us, I knew that I deserved to be with someone better. And you’re not him,” she said forwardly.

  Clenching my fists at the thought of another man being in her life, I raged, “No other man will ever love you the way that I love you. And I know that you’ll never be able to love another man, the way that you loved me. I fucked up. I lied to you. But, one thing that I was always sure about was my love for you and the lengths that I would go to protect you.”

  “Bullshit! Do you really even know what love is?” Not waiting for my response, Simone continued, “Our whole relationship was built on your secrets and your lies. Love would’ve never told me to get an abort—” the rest of her words died abruptly on her lips.

  “Go home. Go back to your wife and the life that you created with her. Truthfully, I feel sorry for Josephine. Even after five years, you still think that it’s all about you.” She said, shoving my body again. Holding back my anger, I moved away and allowed her to walk away from me. Opening the passenger door, she gathered her things.

  Pressing the button, the car alarm beeped, signaling her locked doors. “Go home Andriano. There’s nothing here for you,” she spat out before she walked away from me. It took every part of me to not reach for her and slam her body against the car. If my words couldn’t convince her then, maybe our lovemaking could.

  Looking at the love of my life walk away, I couldn’t help but admire her strength. A rupture of guilt watered down my admiration, as I examined this newfound strength that she developed. Every night, for the past five years, I relived the dreadful day in the parking lot. I chose honor over love…Josephine over her…La Costa Nostra over our baby. Our baby…I murdered our baby…I murdered our love. I pushed her to get an abortion the moment she told me that she was pregnant. I ignored the growing voice that spoke out from my heart. Rather, I chose to act on my fears of what would happen to her if she had my baby before I became the Don.

  Protect her…protect her…protect her, that’s all I knew how to do. I feared nothing in life before I met Simone. After all of the harm, the ruthlessness, and the killings…God finally sent me my redemption. But, He also sent me my greatest fear—living without her.

  Watching her walk through the revolving doors of the hospital, I made a promise to myself that this would be the last time that she walked away from me, unclaimed.

  Chapter Six

  Simone

  One more hour and I’m finally out of here. Throughout most of my shift, my mind replayed the exchange between Andriano and me. He had the audacity to confront me at my job. I guess, I should be happy that he came to my job as opposed to confronting me at my house. Chuckling, I couldn’t believe that he still thought that he could charm his way back into my life. Not this time. Not ever. I must admit, though, I was taken aback by his silence. He practically made no effort to try to persuade me. Maybe, now he’ll move on and go back to his wife.

  “Oh…um, excuse me. I’m sorry,” said one of the three men that walked off of the elevator. Each held onto a large bouquet of deep red roses that was each wrapped in a white cloth. The roses gave off a strong refreshing scent that absorbed the unpleasant smell in this unit. Everyone, including me, looked at the beautiful long stemmed roses with open curiosity.

  “Damn, someone’s in love,” whispered Shannon, as she stood beside me. Looking over at the desk, one of the men spoke with the head nurse, Linda. Looking past the young man’s shoulder, Linda’s eyes peeked over her pink cat-eye reading glasses—searching. As her shrewd brown eyes landed in my direction, she placed her index finger on the bridge of her glasses and slid it up her snub-nose.

  No, this motherfu—

  “Simone,” Linda’s nasally voice called out to me. With each dreadful step that I took, the potent smell of the roses invaded my nostrils with the most pleasant fragrance.

  “Yes, Linda?” I asked, in my best attempt to seem confused.

  “These roses are for you,” she said displeased—handing me the card in the process. Sliding the card into my scrub pocket, I looked over the arrangement of roses.

  “Where can we put these, Miss?” asked one of the young men holding two bouquets in his hand.

  “I’ll take them from you,” I said, looking at Linda apologetically. As each of the men handed me the bouquet, I became overwhelmed with the amount of roses that I received.

  “Linda, can I please take my 15 now?” I asked, pressing my luck as her patience decreased before my eyes. Her perched lips tightened, causing the brim of lips to become thinner. Furrowed lines appeared all over her forehead, as she nodded her head curtly. Stretching my neck, I looked over the pile of bouquets, as I hastily walked toward the employee lounge. Dropping the flowers on the empty table, I pulled out the card and read the note: Bella Mia

  “Seriously?” I asked aloud, to no one in particular. Exhaling a frustrated breath, I crumpled up the card and tossed it in the nearby trashcan.

  Bursting through the doors, Shannon walked inside grinning from ear-to-ear. “Girl, you better not hold out on me,” she said immediately in a raspy voice.

  “Trust me, I’m not. He’s nobody important,” I said nonchalantly while considering my next steps. I should really get a restraining order.

  “Simone, no man is going to
send a woman all of these roses if he wasn’t trying to convince her how important she is to him. I mean—look at these roses. They’re beautiful. He’s definitely trying to get your attention,” she said, picking up one of the bouquets.

  “You don’t even know the half of it,” I mumbled as I gathered the roses again—this time in a messy bunch. “Either way, I’m not interested. Can you help me take these roses up to the hospice unit?” I asked.

  “You’re not even right Simone,” Shannon gasped, as her eyes widened with disbelief.

  After placing a few roses from each bouquet in the patients’ rooms, Shannon and I took the elevator back down to our unit. The remainder of my shift was filled with looks of admiration, curiosity, and downright jealousy from some of the staff. As I walked to the elevator, Dr. Stuart Jackson quickly ended his conversation and pressed the elevator button while eyeing me.

  “I thought that you were not ready to date,” he said the moment the doors opened to reveal an empty elevator.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, looking up at his handsome stance. His dark brown eyes contrasted against his light complexion. Everything about his appearance screamed out danger. His suaveness broke the hearts of a few nurses in my unit. All of that was the very reason why he was a complete turn-off.

  “A few of the nurses mentioned that some nurse’s boyfriend sent her roses this morning. Imagine my surprise when I found out that it was you.”

  Ignoring his statement, I watched as the numbers on the digital screen go down.

  “I see that I’m not the only man who is trying to get your attention. I guess I’ll have to try harder,” He commented, as the elevator came to a complete stop on the third floor. Walking away from him, I marched straight to the female employee locker room and scanned my card to enter.