Dipping Into Sin 2: Digging Deeper Into Sin Page 6

  What the hell is the combination? Dropping my eyes to the side, I began to think about any important numbers that my father may have told me before he died. Nothing. Resting my eyes on the box, I leaped quickly out of my chair and dropped down to my knees before the box. Lifting the lightbox up, I flipped it over with the open-side down. Emptying the box, I flipped the box over with the hopes that I will be able to see a hidden piece of paper. Nothing. Huffing loudly, I stood up and sat down in the chair again. Twirling left and right in the chair, my eyes skimmed over the empty discarded box on the floor to the keep safe box on my late father’s desk. Stopping, I tilted my head to the side and read the label of the box again.

  “9L9C3N8,” I read out loud. “9-9-3-8,” I said as I typed the numbers into the keypad.

  Click.

  The lid of the box lifted almost immediately after I was granted access into the box. Lifting the lid, a small black tape recorder along with four small tapes lay across a thick pile of documents with the same label, 9L9C3N8.

  Picking the tape recorder up, I placed the tape labeled 6A into the slot. Pressing rewind, the recorder made a clicking sound before releasing the rewind button. Time to press play…

  Chapter Thirteen

  Simone

  “Simone,” Grandma shouted from downstairs. “Can you come down here?”

  Trekking down the stairs, my eyes widened at the sight of the men placing bouquets of white roses in the living room. Walking closer to the door, I stuck my head out to see the three vans parked in the front of our house. Flagging down one of the men, I asked, “Who sent these roses?”

  His eyes drifted to Grandma’s stance. Leaning against the wall, Grandma held the medium sized envelope out and said, “This is for you.”

  “Mommy, look at the pretty flowers,” Olivia exclaimed excitedly. She kneeled down alongside of Acelia and sniffed the roses.

  “They smell funny,” Acelia giggled as she rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.

  “Yeah, they’re pretty to look at,” I mumbled as I tore through the envelope. Please let this be a mistake, I thought, as I pulled out the letter.

  Bella Mia,

  Five years ago, today, I remembered calling Victoria non-stop in search of you. I remembered making a promise that when I found you, I would never let go. It’s funny how, I found you four months later at the Christmas party. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. But, even more so, I couldn’t contain the rage that I felt as I watched other men look at you.

  Money could buy the most lavish gifts, but no amount of money or monetary items could compare to the most precious gift that you gave me that night. If I was not completely driven by my own selfish, lustful need, my heart would have chosen to make the moment more mem—

  “Mommy, Mommy,” Jasmine came running into the living room. Breaking my eyes away from the letter briefly, I looked down at her dinner smeared all over her mouth.

  “Jazzy, go wash your hands and mouth,” I pointed out as I looked at the letter again.

  “But Mommy,” she pleaded. I learned a long time ago that Jasmine’s persistence had no expiration date.

  “Yes, Jazzy?” I answered as my eyes left the letter to look down at her.

  “Mommy, I want my nails painted pink,” she all but demanded as she held onto the pink nail polish.

  “You have to ask first,” I replied. Out all of my daughters, Jasmine demanded things more than she asked for things.

  “Can you paint my nails, please? Please…Please Mommy,” Jasmine asked as she waved the pink nail polish in midair.

  “You need to go wash your hands and mouth first.”

  “Okay, Mommy,” She said softly as she ran to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she walked into the living room.

  “Come Jazzy, look at the pretty flowers. Nana, can we plant them?” Olivia asked as she pulled a long-stemmed white rose out of the bouquet. Their little voices faded as I became immersed in the words that rendered my heart speechless while I began reading where I left out...

  memorable. But, that night, I subconsciously made a vow to love you always and forever. I didn’t know then that I was in love with you. I guess the foreign feeling of love was too much of a complication that I didn’t need in my life. I must admit, I hated loving you. Crazy, right? For as long as I could remember, love was never a part of my life. I was taught that love was weakness, and I refused to be weak. But, truthfully, I refused to NOT love you.

  I was told that these white roses represent true love, innocence, purity, reverence, remembrance, worthiness, devotion, and everlasting unity. Most importantly, these white roses represent a new beginning. This is a new beginning to put YOU first above all, including my blood. I love you bella mia…now and forever.

  A.

  “Okay Miss, these are the last of the bouquets,” said the short, chubby man with the receding hairline. “Sign here,” he said as his short stubby fingers pointed to a line at the bottom of the page. Handing me my copy, he started to walk towards the front door.

  “How many did you deliver in total?” Grandma asked, causing the man to stop the moment his hand reached the screen door.

  “2,000 bouquets of long stemmed roses,” he replied before pushing the screen door open. Turning around, I blinked away the anger that permeated my eyes and the tightness that entrapped my chest. Diverting my eyes to Grandma’s still form, I watched as she stared at my daughters. Dragging my eyes to my giggling daughters, I absorbed their happiness…their innocence. They’re my serenity, my happiness, my gift of life from God…and for that, we need to run.

  Sighing, Grandma finally asked, “What does the card say?” her eyes remained fixed on the girls, who were now playing in a bed of white roses.

  Passing the letter to Grandma, my eyes grew wider at my newfound plan. “Grandma, we need to get the girls out of here,” I stated matter-of-factly.

  “Where?” Grandma asked as her face scrunched up in confusion.

  “Anywhere, but here. I have enough money saved up for us to get by until I find work. We can leave as early as tonight,” I replied anxiously, as I thought about my checking and savings accounts and the stash of money that I have saved in my closet.

  Standing up, Grandma grabbed an armful of bouquets before hissing out, “Child please. No man is going to chase me and my grandbabies out of our own home. Quit that foolish talk and help me move these bouquets into the patio out back. Girls, help Nana move the flowers to the backyard.”

  ~****~

  After putting the bouquets in the patio out back, I showered the girls and put them to bed. While lying in bed, I couldn’t help the daunting thoughts of what would happen if Andriano found out about my daughters. How would his wife receive them? Would his other children and family accept them? Each of those questions provided only negative outcomes.

  Rising, I turned to my side and pulled out the drawer on my nightstand. Pulling out the box and letter that Andriano had given to me five years ago, I exhaled as my fingers hastened to unravel the box. Startled, by the sound of the light knock at my door, the box slipped from my fingers and landed on the floor. Jumping out of the bed, I quickly opened the door to find Acelia, who hid half of her face behind her yellow blanket and brown teddy bear, staring at me.

  Kneeling before her tiny body, I drew my arms open before asking, “Are you okay CeCe?”

  “Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?” Acelia asked as she wrapped her short, fragile arms around my neck as I lifted her off of the ground. Walking towards the bed, I laid her little body in the middle of my mattress. Grabbing the box and letter, I quickly stored them away in the nightstand. Lying beside her, I flicked the switch to turn off my bedside lamp. Snuggling her body closer to me, I planted a kiss on Acelia’s head before closing my eyes.

  “Mommy…”

  “Hmm?”

  “What’s a daddy?”

  Swallowing the knot in my throat, my eyes flashed open wide at Acelia’s question. Stammering for an answer, I fina
lly settled on, “A daddy is just as special as a mommy. Some kids are lucky to have both.”

  Immediately after answering her question, tears welled up at the thought of my daughters not being one of the lucky kids.

  “Do I have both?” she asked softly. A tear slid down my cheek the moment she asked.

  “No baby,” I managed to say in between soft sniffles.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Simone

  “Oh, I’m so glad that you’re here,” I commented as I glanced at Victoria with a gleaming smile. I didn’t think that she would be up for a visit, especially with her mother’s current state. When Victoria called last night and told me that she was flying over here, her tremulous voice sounded uneasy. Even as I glanced over at her, she appeared to be disheveled with trouble written all over her face.

  “Are you okay?” I asked alarmed. “Is Kate okay?”

  “Nothing has changed with Mom,” she responded lowly.

  “What’s going on?” I asked concerned by her somber demeanor. Parking in front of the house, I turned to her and grabbed a hold of her hand. Bursting into tears, I reached for Victoria and held her.

  Taking a moment to gathering herself, Victoria said, “I have to tell—” Pausing midsentence, she withdrew a tape recorder from her bag along with three tapes. “No, I need you to listen to something when we get in the house.”

  “I don’t understand Vic. Why do you have a tape recorder in your bag?” I asked confused by this whole exchange.

  Shutting her eyes painfully, Victoria exhaled an exasperated breath before looking over at me. “I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry for everything that you had to endure five years ago. Raising the girls by yourself was a journey.”

  “Vic, if it was not for you and Grandma, I would not have been able to get through the past five years. Both of you were my biggest support system. Not even my own mother…” stopping myself from going down the turbulent relationship road between my mother and myself. A small smile tugged at my lips, “The girls are going to be so excited to see you. I told them that I had a surprise for them.” Tugging on the door handles, we each hopped out of my car and walked towards the trunk. Popping the hood, I felt my phone vibrating. Looking down at my phone, I saw that it was a missed call from home.

  Walking up the stairs, I unlocked both of the doors and shouted, “Girls guess who’s here.”

  The zealous excitement washed away the moment I heard uncontrollable whaling. Dropping the bags on the floor, everything seemed to go through a time-lapse as I ran as quickly as my feet could take me. Every terrifying emotion went through me as their cries became louder. Entering the kitchen, I looked at each of my daughters who shuffled to their feet the moment that I walked in. Dropping to my knees, I looked over at Grandma’s body. She was lying face down by the kitchen table. Scurrying, I crawled over to her and gently turned her body over.

  “Victoria, call 911 now!”

  “Mommy why are Nana’s eyes closed?” asked Acelia as her tiny hand went to my shoulder.

  “Acelia, Jasmine, and Olivia go to the living room and sit on the couch,” I ordered.

  “I can help, Mommy,” Jasmine proclaimed.

  “Jazzy, please just do as I asked,” I responded as I checked my Grandmother’s pulse. Looking down at my watch, I monitored her heartbeats.

  “But Mommy,” Jasmine pleaded.

  “Now is not the time Jasmine. Just please listen to me,” I asserted as my head snapped away from Grandma’s body to look at her face. With quivering lips and shimmering eyes, she nodded her compliance before running out of the kitchen. Acelia and Olivia held each other’s hands as they followed her.

  “Grandma, you’re going to be fine. I promise. You can’t leave me. You can’t leave the girls. We all need you,” I whispered close to her ear while I monitored her pulse. She seemed peaceful, as her face remained unresponsive. If only she could flicker her eyes or move her hand. Give me a sign that she could hear me.

  “Victoria did you call?” I asked struck by panic as I thought about how long Grandma was lying in that position. Though I was gone for 30 minutes, each lingering minute that passed by was crucial.

  “The ambulance is on the way. I left the front door open,” she replied as she kneeled beside me.

  A few minutes passed, and the faint sounds of the sirens became louder as it neared our house. Opening the wispy screen door, the bustling sounds of urgent footsteps walked inside our house.

  “Hello, we’re the paramedics,” the medic announced.

  “In here. We’re in the kitchen!” I hollered. Standing to her feet, Victoria walked out of the kitchen and returned a few second later with the two paramedics.

  “Ma’am, can you please step away from her?”

  Complying, I stood up and leaned against the refrigerator as I watched the paramedics examine Grandma. Railed by the scene, the nurse in me seemed to be buried under the fear of losing my grandmother. Through all of my trainings and studies, none of it prepared me for this, as I was rendered helpless.

  “How long has she been in this position?” questioned one of the paramedics as he opened his bag and pulled out a few items.

  Unable to utter a sound, I looked on in horror as the medic placed an oxygen mask over her face. Cutting her eyes in my direction after a moment of silence, Victoria spoke up and answered. “We walked into the house ten minutes ago and found her lying face down.”

  “We have to take her to the hospital,” announced the paramedic as he placed items back into the medic bag. Unfolding the stretcher, both medics proceeded to lift Grandma onto the gurney. As they rolled the stretcher out of the kitchen, everything became still. Today couldn’t be the day that I lose my grandmother.

  “Can you watch the girls? I’m going to follow the ambulance to the hospital.”

  The paramedics took Grandma to the hospital where I worked. Parking in the lot, I rushed over to the emergency room. Brushing past all of my co-workers, I headed to the Geriatrics Department as this is the department that focuses on a wide range of problems associated with the elderly. If Grandma had a stroke, then she would surely be brought here first.

  After two hours of waiting in the visitors lounge, I walked over to the information desk and asked if there was any progress with May-lee Bradshaw.

  “Simone, from what I can gather, she’s still undergoing tests. Dr. Logan will be with you shortly,” Mary, the head nurse in that department, responded apologetically. “Do you want me to get you some tea or maybe water?”

  “No, I’m fine. Thank you, Mary.”

  At that moment, my phone began to ring. Looking down at the screen, I cursed silently. This was the third time that Andre called. Sliding the screen up, I cleared my throat before saying, “Hello.”

  Andre returned, “Hey beautiful. How is your day going so far?”

  “Honestly, I’m not doing so well right about now.”

  “What happened?”

  “My grandmother was admitted a few hours ago. She had a stroke.

  With a voice full of sympathy, Andre replied, “Simone, I’m sorry to hear. Do you need me to do anything? Do you want me to come to the hospital?”

  “No, no, I’m fine. These next few weeks are going to be really hectic. So, I’m

  going to have to cancel our date to the comedy show this Friday.”

  “I understand, Simone. Please let me know if I can do anything.”

  “I will. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Okay, take it easy.”

  I ended the call with a sigh.

  “Hello, Ms. Sinn. How are you?” asked Dr. Logan. Startled, I turned around and faced Dr. Logan, who stood a few inches away from me.

  “I’m hanging in there. What is the status of my grandmother?” I asked frantically.

  “We’ve conducted some preliminary tests to see if we could determine the cause for this stroke. Simone you may need to…” Shifting his eyes away from mine, Dr. Logan began to stammer on his words.

/>   “Just say it,” I shouted. “Just say it, please,” I whispered as tears began to slide down my cheeks. Hugging my waist, I braced myself for the underlying news that was sure to come.

  “She suffered from an eruption of a brain aneurysm. The bleeding in her brain caused a hemorrhagic stroke. This type of hemorrhagic stroke is called—” he began.

  “Subarachnoid Hemorrhage,” I finished his sentence.

  “Correct. With Ms. Bradshaw’s age and preexisting health issues, there is a greater chance that she will not break out of her coma. I recommend performing an aneurysm clipping to block off the aneurysm from the blood vessels in the brain. This surgery will help to prevent further leaking of blood from the aneurysm and decreasing the chances of rupturing again. Will you consent to this procedure?”

  “Yes, Dr. Logan. Please provide every treatment,” I practically begged.

  “We will prep her for surgery,” he replied before walking away.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Simone

  “Mommy! Mommy!” screamed Acelia. Wrapping her short arms around my legs, she pressed her tiny face against my thighs.

  “Hey CeCe, how are you?” I asked as I walked into the house later that evening. When I left the hospital, Grandma was in the recovery unit after undergoing surgery. I asked Dr. Logan what the likelihood was of her regaining consciousness after the surgery. Instead of reassuring words of a successful procedure, he told me to consider preparing for the necessary arrangements. Apparently, with the lack of blood flow to major parts of her brain stem, Grandma’s brain became swollen. Left with little to no hope, I did what she taught me to do…turn to God. During the short drive home, tears streamed down my cheeks as I begged God to place His miraculous hands on Grandma.