Dipping Into Sin 2: Digging Deeper Into Sin Read online

  Walking down the stairs, Victoria had a yellow towel tossed over her shoulder. Her hair was now in a messy ponytail with strands shadowing her neck. We looked at each other, communicating through weepy eyes, as we understood each other’s pain.

  Wiping the single tear that slid down my cheek, before Acelia could see me, I tried to tap into the inner strength that Grandma always said that I had. But, all I could find was pain. My heart ached at the flashback of my daughters on their little knees, hovering over Grandma as they tried their earnest to do everything that I had taught them.

  Their cries haunted my ears each moment the flashback appeared. They knew to call my phone first if there was ever an emergency and I was not around. We rehearsed the steps to follow and in that urgent moment, they remembered. How will I be able to explain Grandma’s condition? Would they need counseling? Heaving in and out, I attempted to steady my breathing to avoid alarming anyone.

  “Hey, CeCe, why don’t you go put your toys away while your Mommy and I talk.”

  “Okay, Auntie Vicky,” Acelia complied before releasing my thighs and walking up the stairs. Stopping midway, Acelia looked over her shoulder and asked, “Where is Nana?”

  Tears stung as I strained to hold them back. Looking to the side, I lied to her, “Grandma will be back soon.” Satisfied with the answer, Acelia continued to walk up the stairs.

  Moving towards me, Victoria wrapped her arms around my shoulders, drawing me into a warm hug. Burying my head into her shoulder, I poured out my emotions through tears.

  Stroking my hair, Victoria said, “Everything is going to be all right. I’ll stay out here for as long as you need me.”

  Nodding my head, I backed away from Victoria and placed my car keys in the dish bowl on the console table. Walking into the kitchen, my feet remained rooted in place, as my eyes became glued on the spot in the kitchen where Grandma had fallen. Panting in and out, the amount of airflow seemed to seep out as I clenched onto my chest with great intensity.

  “I have to call my mother.”

  ~****~

  “I’m surprised that Henry let you fly down here,” I blurted out the moment my mother, Kendra Jones, entered the car. Last week, after telling my mother about Grandma’s condition, she surprised me when she emailed me her flight itinerary. The last time that I saw my mother was over five years ago. I was on my way to college and never thought to cherish that moment. Although we spoke briefly throughout the week, she still allowed Henry to control her life. Even more disappointing, was the fact that my mother never met my daughters aside from the pictures that I mailed to her during the holidays. I woke up this morning with every intention to keep my emotions in check, at least, for the sake of my grandmother.

  “Now is not the time Simone,” she replied as we exited the airport parking lot.

  As we neared the house, I glanced over at my mother before focusing on the road again, “What should my daughters call you?”

  “What do they call Mama?” she asked softly after a few minutes passed.

  A smile tugged at my lips as I thought of the first time that Grandma taught the girls to pronounce ‘Nana’. Parking in front of the house, I turned and looked at my mother before answering, “The girls call Grandma, Nana.”

  Walking into the house, I braced myself for the confused little faces that were sure to come the moment I introduced my mother to my daughters.

  “Girls, I have someone here that I would like for you to meet,” I called out to the girls. Jasmine, Olivia, and Acelia came running out of the kitchen with Victoria trailing behind them. A small gasp escaped my mother lips the moment the girls appeared.

  “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,” they all shouted in discord tones. Running past my mother, the girls wrapped their arms around my thighs and stared up at me with cheerful grins. The longer I stared at each of them, the more heavy-hearted I became as I pondered the reasons why Andriano would want me to terminate my pregnancy. Plundered by sadness, I couldn’t even understand how my mother waited until now to meet her granddaughters. They say that babies bring happiness to families, but somehow the only people who embraced this happiness were Grandma and me. During our weekly phone calls, my mother barely asked about the girls. And it hurt. I guess, deep down, I wished that my mother acknowledged my daughters…acknowledged the effort that I made to raise my daughters as a single parent.

  Taking a deep breath, I made eye contact with each of my beautiful daughters before saying, “This is my mommy.”

  Turning around to face her, Acelia pressed her small body against my thigh as she looped my arm to cover the side of her face. For no reason other than assurance and comfort, Acelia bashfully hid her shy face from my mother.

  Prompted, my mother took a step forward as if she was stepping into an unknown virtual world. Kneeling before them, my mother stared at each of her granddaughters with unshed tears casting over her eyes.

  “I can’t believe how big you girls are,” my mother said in admonishment as she took in the sight of my daughters.

  An awkward silence emerged as my mother stared at each of my daughters. For the first time since picking her up from the airport, I couldn’t believe how much she’s aged within the last five years. Her hair was now cut in a short afro and was sprinkled with more gray strands since the last time that I saw her. Although she was always on the slimmer side, my mother had clearly lost more weight since our years apart. Even as a smile dressed her lips, she still had a sadness that filled her eyes.

  “This is my best friend, Victoria. She’s the girls’ godmother,” I gestured over to Victoria direction.

  “It is nice to finally meet you,” exclaimed Victoria as she drew her hand out to my mother. Standing to her feet, my mother grasped her hand and nodded her head.

  Turning around to focus on the girls, my mother asked, “Why don’t you tell me your names?”

  “My name is Olivia,” Olivia said as she stepped forward to greet my mother.

  “I’m Jasmine,” she announced proudly.

  “Jasmine. So you must be Acelia,” she gestured to Acelia, who still held my arm over her face.

  “Aww, baby. You don’t have to hide your beautiful face,” my mother urged as she stepped closer to Acelia. Tightening her grip, Acelia buried her face deeper into my arm.

  “CeCe, you don’t have to be afraid,” I kneeled beside her and pulled her into a hug. Rising, I walked closer to my mother and said, “This is Grandma.”

  “That’s what Mommy calls Nana,” Olivia stated with a confused expression plastered against her face.

  “Livy, my mommy, is your grandmother,” I said in my best attempt to explain to a five-year-old.

  “But, Nana is my grandmother. I don’t want a new one,” expressed Jasmine in a panicked tone.

  “Nana is still your grandmother. You just have another grandmother,” I responded.

  “Nana is my mommy,” explained my mother as she kneeled before Acelia and Jasmine.

  “Where’s Nana?” Acelia whispered in my ear. Turning to face CeCe, I could only break a sad smile and rub her arm. How am I going to explain this to them?

  Chapter Sixteen

  Andriano

  “The Baxter Estate has the most beautiful view of the lake. The property has this elegant French Chateau architectural style. At approximately 17,000 square feet, this property is guaranteed to be off the market soon,” said Annette Stone, the luxury realtor. Eric Smith, the concierge at the hotel where I was staying, highly recommended her. This was the same spiel that she gave about the last three estates that we saw.

  “How do you feel about this house Mr. Balducci?”

  “I’ll take it,” I answered as I wrestled with the idea of what kind of home that Simone would like. Hell, after five years apart, I don’t even know Simone’s likes and dislikes. I don’t know if she preferred to live in the outskirts of Charlotte. But, I did know that I wouldn’t force Simone to move back to New York. Shit, if she doesn’t like this house, I would glad
ly buy her whatever she wanted, just as long as we could build a life together.

  “Great, when will you able to come to the office?” she said, as she gave off the perkiest smile as she pulled out her smartphone.

  “How quickly can I get the keys to the house?”

  “We will have to discuss it with the banks, fill out paperwork, get supporting documents, and have sign-offs. All in all, it can take up to two weeks,”

  “I don’t have two weeks. It will have to be as soon as today. I’ll even pay 10% above asking price. My lawyers will get in contact with you and will process all money transactions. I’ll make sure to double your commission for your troubles,” I said as I pulled my phone out and sent a text message to Kevin. With glassy eyes, Annette Stone looked as if she just came off of a roller coaster.

  “Will you be able to do it or not?” I asked impatiently as she stood before me in a daze.

  “Well, yes, of course. I’ll get started right away,” she said as she walked towards the kitchen.

  ~****~

  “Well Mr. Balducci, here are your keys and welcome to your new home,” announced Annette Stone as she handed me the key to the estate. Looking back at the house, I knew that this was our home. A home that Simone and I would build together.

  After walking Annette Stone to the door, I immediately contacted Kevin and instructed him to connect me with our IT personnel to hook up the security system. Once that was done, I contemplated contracting an interior designer. In the end, I opted against the idea. This is Simone’s house, and she’ll decorate it however she sees fit.

  Hopping into the car, I prepped myself for the reluctance that was sure to follow the moment I knocked on Simone’s door. If the past few weeks did not make my intentions clear to her, I intended to make it clear to her today that I’m not going anywhere without her by my side. No one, not even her grandmother, was going to stand in the way of that.

  Speeding down the highway, I finally made it onto her block. Looking at her house, a sense of relief washed over me when I saw her car parked in front. Parking behind her car, I determinedly walked up the stairs and banged on her front door. After a few seconds of waiting, I banged on the dank screen door again.

  The moment the second door opened, I braced myself to see Simone’s grandmother. Instead, I was greeted by a middle-aged woman who said, “Hello, how can I help you?”

  “I need to speak with Simone.”

  Puzzled by my forwardness, she asked, “Is she expecting you?”

  “Yes, she is,” I lied, as she unlocked the screen door.

  “Oh okay, please come in.” She said with a pleasant smile.

  Walking into the modest home, I took in all of the pictures that covered the walls. Besides the toys that were scattered all over the den floor, the place had a homely feel.

  “Please excuse the mess,” she said as she scurried around the room to move the toys to the side. “I’m, Simone’s mother. And you are?” she asked as she stretched her hand out.

  “Andriano.”

  “Grandma, Grandma, Grandma,” screeched a little girl from the opposite direction. Grandma…what the fuck? Spinning around, all of the air escaped from within me as I locked eyes with the grey-eyed girl who had long dirty blond hair. Pushing her way to stand between Simone’s mother and me, I continued to stare at my little beauty.

  “Yes, Acelia?” asked Simone's mother. Staring at every part of her small face, I suddenly felt the accelerated thumping of my heartbeats blaring in my ears. From her nose to her lips, everything about this little girl mirrored me. Her skin was very fair compared to my olive complexion, but she was undoubtedly mine. This can’t fucking be our—no it can’t be, I thought as I tried to blink away the daunting image of the little girl’s face.

  “Jazzy won’t let me use the orange crayon to color the princess’s hair. She’s being bossy again,” said the little one as she pouted her mouth in dissatisfaction. Feeling protective, I wanted to ask her ‘Who’s messing with you? Who the fuck is Jazzy?”

  “Is this Simone’s daughter?” I managed to ask after through clenched teeth.

  Staring at the little girl with adoration in her eyes, she answered, “Yes, this is one of my grandbabies.”

  “One of them?” I asked confused by her answer. Feeling my face growing hot, I couldn’t wrap my head around the sight before me.

  “How old are you?” I asked the little girl after containing my emotions.

  “Five,” the little girl turned to me and held her five fingers up in the air proudly. Feeling my throat grow dry, I shook my head in disbelief.

  Just then, two other little girls ran towards the middle-aged woman with crayons in their hands. Sweeping my eyes from left to right, right to left, I watched as another little girl with the same dirty blond hair and piercing grey eyes turned to look at me.

  “You have the same color eyes as me and CeCe,” she said innocently, as the little girl, who was unmistakably my daughter smiled. Her smile. Her beautiful smile awoke something deep in my soul as I vowed to always make sure that she continued to smile like this.

  Kneeling before her, I said, “Yes, you do. What is your name bella stella (beautiful star)?

  “Bella? My name is not Bella. It’s Jasmine,” she affirmed. A smile tugged at my lips as I looked at my little bambina who had a feisty attitude like her mother. Her mother…where the fuck is she?

  “What are you doing here?”

  Grinding my teeth, I turned to look at Simone’s stunned face. Feeling the anger boiling inside, I clenched my fists in and out. Each time that I blinked my eyes, Simone became a distorted image. A soft palm from a small hand brushed against my knuckles causing the anger that brewed within to subside. Reluctantly, I turned my eyes away from Simone’s hostile rays. Looking down at the little girl, my eyes wavered over the beauty that was a perfect blend of Simone and me. Her intense true green eyes were a remarkable contrast against her honey complexion and dark curly hair. The only other person in my family who had the same eyes was my little sister Katarina. In each generation of the Balducci family, one member of the family would have distinct true green eyes. The only other member of my family, who could attest to this random genetic trait, is Nicolai’s father, Zio (Uncle) Salvatore. Now it’s…my daughter. Everything around me seemed to be non-existent as it dawned on me…Simone was pregnant with triplets. She kept our babies.

  “My daughter…my daughters,” I murmured, as I struggled to face reality. Her arms stretched above her head as if she was signaling for me to pick her up. Bending forward, I picked the little girl up and embraced the feeling of love exploding in my heart. Resting her head against my shoulder, I couldn’t hide the instant emotions that detonated inside of me. How could Simone keep our babies away from me?

  “Put my daughter down right now,” Simone flew down the stairs and stormed over to me.

  “No,” I said through clenched teeth.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Simone

  3 hours earlier

  “I wish that I could’ve stayed longer Simone,” Victoria stressed as I placed her bag in the trunk of the car.

  “Vic don’t sweat it. I’m so sorry that we didn’t get a chance to do much while you were out here,” I contended. Victoria was more than helpful throughout the whole time that I was in the hospital with Grandma. The girls took advantage of every moment of her being out here as they got to play with makeup, get their nails painted, go to the movies, and convince Victoria to do anything that they wanted to do.

  Grandma was still in a coma, but she did have positive brain waves in her last scan. We were all hopeful and had faith that she would regain consciousness soon. Since being out here, my mother has been by Grandma’s side. Somehow, her presence in our house helped the girls to become adjusted to the idea of having another grandmother. Before long, they were calling on her for everything. My mother reveled in every moment of the attention that she received from them.

  “I’m always happy to be
with my divas. I’m going to miss them,” Victoria admitted as she buckled her seatbelt.

  Pulling out of the parking spot, we each became lost in our own thoughts as I drove along the highway.

  “Simone, I left the tape recorder and tapes in your dresser drawer. I want you to listen to the tapes,” she jested out after a moment of silence between us.

  “What is on the tapes?” I asked, remembering the tapes that she was referring to a few days ago.

  “I would much rather you hear the tapes for yourself,” she pleaded.

  Nodding my head, I smiled at Victoria and gave her a tight hug. After bidding her farewell, I drove straight to the hospital to check on Grandma. Walking into the room, I watched as Grandma’s still body remained unresponsive.

  “We all miss you, Grandma,” I said as I massaged her legs and feet. “The girls keep asking for you. I told them that you’re resting. But, now it is time for you to come back. Come back, Grandma.”

  A knock on the door interrupted my begging. Looking up, I placed Grandma’s foot down and as I walked over to where Andre stood. Wrapping his arms around me, I embraced the hug that engulfed my whole body the moment he pulled me into him. Dropping a kiss on my lips, I looked up into his eyes with great appreciation for the support that he gave me during this time.

  “How are you feeling today?” he asked as he released me.

  “I’m fine. Just tired,” I replied.

  “Any news on your grandmother?”

  “No,” I exhaled. “But, I guess no news is good news.”

  Turning to look at my grandmother, I walked back over to her bed and massaged her hand. The sound of his ringtone broke my concentration as I looked away from Grandma.

  “I…uh…have to take this call,” he mumbled before walking out of the room.

  “I can’t wait until you meet Andre. You’ve always been good at reading people. I think that you’re going to like him,” I began as I twirled her wrist in circular motions.

  A few minutes later, Andre rushed into the room and said, “I have to go. I'll call you later.” Racing out of the room, Andre did not wait for my response. That’s strange.